EMMA. SHE IS BAD-ASS DR. CAMERON OR WHATEVER, BUT SHE CATCHES BAD GUYS, BAIL JUMPERS. SHE IS LONELY THOUGH, BECAUSE SHE IS AN ORPHAN WHO GREW UP IN THE SYSTEM, NEVER GOT ADOPTED BY PEOPLE WHO LOVE HER. BUT SHE HAD A KID WHEN SHE WAS EIGHTEEN AND IN AS-OF-YET UNDISCLOSED TROUBLE, SO SHE GAVE THE BABY UP FOR ADOPTION. TEN YEARS LATER WHEN SHE IS CELEBRATING HER BIRTHDAY ALL ALONE AFTER BEING ALL BADASS CATCHING BAD GUYS *ON HER BIRTHDAY* WHO SHOWS UP BUT THIS LITTLE BOY WHO SAYS HE'S HER SON AND THREATENS TO TELL PEOPLE SHE ABDUCTED HIM IF SHE DOESN'T COME HOME WITH HIM. THE LITTLE SNOT. BUT THAT KIND OF BLACKMAIL IS POWERFUL, AND SHE HEADS HOME WITH HIM AND OH SHIT SHE JUST LANDED IN A STORYBOOK AND HER SON IS BEING RAISED BY AN EVIL WITCH -- EITHER THAT OR THERE'S A LITTLE CRAZY BOY WHOSE MOTHER SHE KNOWS DOESN'T LOVE HIM. AND SHE BECOMES FUCKING SHERIFF AND THERE IS CHAINSAW ACTION IT IS AWESOME I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING ALTHOUGH THERE SHOULD BE A WARNING FOR "HARM TO TREES" BECAUSE I FIND THAT SHIT GENIUINELY UPSETTING. ALSO, THERE MIGHT BE SUBTEXT WITH SAID EVIL WITCH, WHO IS ACTUALLY JUST AN EVIL MAYOR, EXCEPT EMMA CAN'T PROVE SHE'S EVIL AND SHE SEEMS TO WANT TO BE A GOOD MOTHER.
SHE HAD A SAD CUPCAKE. ALL ALONE IN A NOT-VERY-LIVED-IN LOOKING APARTMENT IN BOSTON, WITH A SINGLE CUPCAKE WITH A SINGLE CANDLE AND SHE WISHED TO NOT BE ALONE ON HER BIRTHDAY AND BLEW IT OUT AND THEN HENRY SHOWED UP
YES. YES SHE DOES AND YOU WILL DAMN WELL LISTEN TO HER BECAUSE GUN'S AIN'T SHIT AGAINST SOME OGRES, EMMA
GUNS AIN'T SHIT AND THEY WILL LOOK AT YOUR GUN AND SAY "WHAT IS THIS? OH WAIT I COULD GIVE A FUCK" AND THEN YOU REALIZE THAT FIRING A WARNING SHOT IN FAIRYTALE LAND WAS NOT ONLY STUPID BUT AN UNECONOMICAL USE OF BULLETS.
I THINK IN ALL PROBABILITY THE GUN WOULD HAVE KILLED THE OGRE IF SHE HAD SHOT IT IN THE EYE BUT SHE DIDN'T BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT FIGHTING NONHUMANS OR ABOUT HOW YOU DO NOT FIRE WARNING SHOTS IN OGRE COUNTRY, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE HER MOMMA DOES AND HER MOMMA IS A FUCKING BADASS WHO CAN PROTECT HER AGAINST THE DANGERS OF THIS WORLD BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MOTHERS ARE THERE FOR BABY.
THIS IS TRUE, ALSO SHE WAS GOING THROUGH A LOT OF THINGS AND WANTED HER MOTHER TO KNOW SHE WAS A BIG GIRL WHO HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF HER WHOLE LIFE, THANK-YOU-VERY-MUCH BUT IT IS OKAY TO NEED HELP SOMETIMES.
THIS!!! SHE IS SO AWESOME WITH THE SWORDS AND FIGHTING AND NOT TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS AND SHE WAS LEFT ALLLLLLL ALONE AS A KID WITH PARENTS WHO ABANDONED HER AND ITS SO HARD TO SEE THEM AGAIN THAT WAY EVEN AFTER SHE KNOWS WHY IT HAPPENED. ITS SAAAAAAAAAD.
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branchandroot
AND FOR ANOTHER THING
Date: 2012-10-16 02:59 am (UTC)Re: AND FOR ANOTHER THING
Date: 2012-10-16 03:07 am (UTC)Re: AND FOR ANOTHER THING
Date: 2012-10-16 03:19 am (UTC)Re: AND FOR ANOTHER THING
Date: 2012-10-16 04:53 am (UTC)GUNS AIN'T SHIT AND THEY WILL LOOK AT YOUR GUN AND SAY "WHAT IS THIS? OH WAIT I COULD GIVE A FUCK" AND THEN YOU REALIZE THAT FIRING A WARNING SHOT IN FAIRYTALE LAND WAS NOT ONLY STUPID BUT AN UNECONOMICAL USE OF BULLETS.
LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER, EMMA.
Re: AND FOR ANOTHER THING
Date: 2012-10-16 05:08 am (UTC)Re: AND FOR ANOTHER THING
Date: 2012-10-16 05:12 am (UTC)IT IS OKAY and OH GOD ;_;
Re: AND FOR ANOTHER THING
Date: 2012-10-16 03:59 am (UTC)