Cold Turkey

[jetpack_monkey]

The last couple weeks have been both very strange and oddly familiar. On the Wednesday before Christmas, I left fandomhigh completely. Not just as an admin, but also as a player. While I still keep in touch with everyone, it's been very weird to not have a million things to look after, decide about, organize. I'm starting to create very silly things for myself to do in order to pass the time, like doing a lot of memes and working on new websites that I know I'm never going to launch.

In short, when I said that I was planning on spending January very bored, I was right. And I don't like it. It's very weird to suddenly go from being necessary and useful to being free of responsibility and just... there. I have grand designs on what I'd like to do, but I'm running into the same ruts that plagued me before Fandom High -- that is, I really want to work on my writing, but I hate to write. It's like extracting blood from underneath my fingernails. I love having written, of course, but who doesn't?

With 2006 just 12 hours away, I need to figure out what I'm *doing* with myself in the new year.

Very scary prospect, having nothing to do. Must rectify it. My ego depends on it.

Comments

Somewhat relating here

[kittycat22.livejournal.com]

As everyone who reads even one line of my journal every now and again knows, I've been crazy busy all last semester. Well, let me tell you, right now I'm not half as busy and it feels weird and wrong to have free time. I can't seem to figure out the pleasure involved in relaxation anymore. It's like I have to keep busy or else I feel guilty about it. I'm working on changing this, but I so get what you mean. Well, about the having nothing to do bit. I can't say I understand the writing stuff, but that's ok. :)

It is interesting, though, the things which suddenly seem essential when the really essential things are kind of finished.