jetpack_monkey | The Serenity Chronicles, Post 1 of 3

In September of 2005, one geek with entirely too much time on his hands disappeared in a theater in downtown Phoenix, while watching Serenity.

A few hours later, his journal was found.

9/30/05 - BDM Day

8:30A - Wake up. Realize I haven't even slept six hours yet. Fall back asleep.

9:15A - Wake up again after a strange, fitful dream where the Cylons could make other people into Cylons. Involved Adama avoiding a certain area of space because it was somehow affiliated with Magog. Must stop doing crossover fic in my sleep.

9:17A - Drag self out of bed.

9:20A - Shower. Take my suds, take my... oh dear.

9:30A - Dress. Find about the only Firefly-esque clothes I have: a floral-print blue shirt and cargo khakis. I decided that this is more appropriate and less smelly than wearing my "Welcome to Sunnydale" tee for the second time this week.

9:45A - Work on 'net things. Read Ebert's review: 3 stars, about what I expected. He certainly seems to "get it." Much as I love the film, I'd be hard-pressed to give it more than 3.5 myself.

10:05A - Check bus routes to work (to pick up first paycheck). Disappointed to find that I just missed a bus and will have to wait a half-hour for the next one.

10:07A - Make nutrition brunch: reheated Pizza Hut pepperoni pizza, hand-tossed. Cannot stand Pan anymore.

10:10A - Discuss Fandom High with a fellow player and fiddle with new ideas for its web presence.

10:20A - Check Serenity showtimes again, even though I have them memorized. Fret about what to do in the gaps between showtimes. Annoyed/relieved that there are only four showings.

10:30A - Head for bus.

10:31A - Realize I forgot my glasses.

10:32A - Head for bus.

10:39A - Arrive at bus stop just in time to hop aboard.

10:40A - The Wicked Witch of the Southwest is on this bus. She sneers at me through the tangled grey hair hanging over her face and starts babbling incoherently, interjecting the Perfect Creepy Cackle at odd points. I suspect she's talking about me, but I suspect everyone's talking about me. Narcissism and paranoia are a deadly combo.

10:52A - Arrive at work. Try to avoid co-workers so I don't have to explain the whole "I don't work on Fridays, just here for my check" thing.

10:55A - Grab paycheck. Boss asks if I can stay and do some OT. I explain that I have other plans, alas. He explains that I have other plans, yay! I love my boss.

11:00A - Get first glimpse of paycheck. Catch eyeballs before they fall out of my head.

11:02A - Stop gaping at the amount.

11:03A - Begin trek to Arizona Center 24, berthing point for my Serenity-thon. Call Mom to have a vocal Snoopy Dance over paycheck. Instead talk to Mom's cute-and-sadly-engaged assistant. When was it that the girls stopped "seeing somebody" and started "marrying somebody?"

11:05A - Call Xõe and tell her to give me a ring if she's going to the film so we can coordinate theaters.

11:12A - Stumble through half-remembered rendition of the Hero of Canton, then a fully remembered but off-key Firefly theme. Follow up with "Movin' On Up" from The Jeffersons for reasons unknown.

11:17A - Arrive at Arizona Center 24. Emboldened by my large paycheck, I withdraw $60 from a fee-heavy ATM. Gawk at my current balance, which is about $200 more than anticipated.

11:20A - Box Office opens at 12:30P. I sit my ass down, break open a notebook, and start jotting down vague recollections of the day so far.

11:30A - Watch elderly couple grouse over film choices. Resist urge to pitch Serenity to them.

11:50A - Observe security guard patrolling. Rehearse speech in head about how it's not loitering... it's lining up.

11:55A - Realize that from a mathematical standpoint, it's really *pointing* up, since there's only one of me. Consider revising security guard speech.

12:00P - Decide that explaining geometry to a security guard would not endear me to him, then realize that I'm screwed anyone. Now that I've thought of it, I'll blabber about points in a desperate, eager fashion anyway. I'm very very thankful that the guard hasn't approached me at all. Perhaps he already understands the lost art of pointing up.

12:03P - Being a point is fucking embarassing. Where's the Whedon posse, yo?

12:05P - Keep a vigilant eye out for "own kind." When the Whedonites show up, we'll need to organize a Jossian jazz choir. My last screening was a disappointment from a goofy singalong standpoint.

12:10P - Mom calls me back. Unsurprisingly, she thinks I called to talk about Serenity. I didn't, but it doesn't stop us from doing so anyway. We're both very impressed with the 80% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes and the critical comparisons to the original Star Wars trilogy. Discussion of the Giant Fucking Paycheck turns out to be anti-climactic by comparison.

12:15P - More people swing by the theater to check showtimes. My tongue starts developing sores from all the times I've bitten it to prevent Serenity-pitching. I don't want to be "That Guy."

12:20P - Realize how freakin' awesome it is to see Serenity's title on the big showtime board.

12:25P - Realize that there is another person waiting for the ticket booth to open: a ruddy-faced inebriated gentlman who is rocking back and forth to "That's Just the Way It Is." For once, I hope somebody *isn't* going to Serenity.

12:27P - One of the Serenity theaters is marked 'OC.' Is this where Summer Glau is replaced by Summer Roberts? I kill myself.

12:29P - Box office opens in one minute, and for Serenity-related matters, I'm still a point. I hop there's a theater somewhere in the Valley that's absolutely crammed.

12:30P - Stare at box office, willing the scurrying employees to move faster.

12:31P - Still waiting.

12:32P - Still waiting.

12:33P - Cashiers open for business. Elderly couple has returned, debate going to Just Like Heaven before settling on Oliver Twist. Roman Polanski. Pft.

12:36P - Get up to counter. Tell the cashier that I need one ticket for each showing of Serenity. Buh... what? Okay, time to pull out the charming semi-lie. I explain that I'm writing a report on the depths of geekdom (*pat notebook*). The bluff works so well I get student prices.

12:39P - As I walk away, I hear the drunk fellow buying a ticket to Serenity.

12:45P - Buy a Blue Raspberry Icee.

1:05P - Trailers: Doom, Jarhead, Chronicles of Narnia, Stay, Legend of Zorro, and Harry Potter.

1:20P - Film starts (roughly 15 in attendance)

The "I've already seen it" review -- NO SPOILERS (unless you count end-credit music as such)

3:20P - Serenity ends. Put the experience about halfway between my first (meh) and my second (woo!) viewing, probably due to the smaller crowd. Being fully scored, edited, and color-timed (you have no idea how important this is until you see a film without it) adds oodles to the film. I notice few notable changes, but the overall effect is tighter. There's an instrumental version of the Firefly theme at the end of the credits as promised; a nice gesture, but it's underorchestrated and ultimately disposable.

More on the rest of the viewings later...