If you'd drifted, I mean, the more sensible way of handling that would've been wait and see if you tried to be friendly in those orbits -- and if you did, respond with disinterest and if you didn't respond to normal cues at that point, shut it down cold.
Like, this just seems to be making something out of nothing. NOT that I'm saying that they shouldn't set boundaries but, like, if you haven't BEEN trying to pursue the friendship -- then why? What purpose is served? Just let the friendship/acquaintance/whatever die a quiet and unremarked upon death.
(I have a lot of feelings about this kind of things because I lost a very, very dear friend in a very painful way, with boundaries not being communicated explicitly and no real explanations ever offered for why those boundaries were being set (see: the boundaries themselves not being communicated explicitly). Sometimes you don't get to know. But there's still ways of going about it that are less shitty than others, you know? Anyway.)
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2014-10-24 05:43 am (UTC)Like, this just seems to be making something out of nothing. NOT that I'm saying that they shouldn't set boundaries but, like, if you haven't BEEN trying to pursue the friendship -- then why? What purpose is served? Just let the friendship/acquaintance/whatever die a quiet and unremarked upon death.
(I have a lot of feelings about this kind of things because I lost a very, very dear friend in a very painful way, with boundaries not being communicated explicitly and no real explanations ever offered for why those boundaries were being set (see: the boundaries themselves not being communicated explicitly). Sometimes you don't get to know. But there's still ways of going about it that are less shitty than others, you know? Anyway.)