jetpack_monkey | Five Things Responses

For

qkellie:

1. "Francie bought a gallon of coffee ice cream. You want?"
2. "You're hot, you're brilliant, but geez, get a grip on the emo thing."
3. "Your dad's kinda hot."
4. "Hey, Syd. Last night I had this dream with you in a giant hospital and you went hand-to-hand with yourself while I ate corn flakes. Weird."
5. "My name isn't Will Tippin. It's Michel... What, Vaughn already tried that line? Bastard."

For

kittycat22:

1. "Wanna see my biggest gun?"
2. "Hey, now that Wash's been dead for a couple weeks, you ready for sex yet?"
3. "Ow. Ow. Ow. OW! Gorammit, woman. I shoulda waited another week. I get it! Stop hittin' me!"
4. "I want you inside me. ... I'm thinkin' on puttin' that different."
5. "Wanna fuck?"

For

just_3_apples:

1. After the engagement announcement, Aaron tapped Eric on the shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Uh, okay."

"Look, I think you should know what you're getting into here. I love my sister, but she's..."

"A little different." Eric grinned and his eyes took on a sort of dopey, far away look.

"To put it mildly. Do you believe that inanimate objects can talk?"

2. Jaye snuggled under Eric's arm, blissed out.

"You have a lot of little animal figures."

Jaye's eyes snapped open. "What do you mean?"

"I just never pegged you for a collector. Do they have any special meaning?"

"I'm certainly not talking to them if that's what you're implying."

3. Jaye cringed when Eric asked her if she had just been conversing with his Mickey Mouse watch. "Uh..."

"It's weird. You do that a lot actually."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I've never talked to your watch before in my life."

"Come to think of it, you own a lot of animal figurines."

"Technically, most of them are stolen," Jaye said, trying to wriggle her way out of this conversation. "And I'm not sure I can be with someone who questions my sanity."

"I'm not."

"You're not."

"I'm confirming your sanity."

Jaye gave him a disbelieving look.

"You said that you might be clinically insane."

"I never said that!"

"First day we met."

"Oh. I did say that, didn't I?"

"I think you were right, actually."

"Oh."

Then Eric kissed her. "I can live with insane."

"Oh!" Jaye said, then she kissed him back.

4. "You held up a bank," Eric said, driving just as fast as he could down the highway. The knapsack of wadded bills seemed to drag down the speed of Jaye's car.

Jaye was slumped in the passenger seat. "Yeah. I didn't mean to. The gun just fell into my hand."

"Because you spilled that bucket of soapy water that tripped the guard."

"I had a very good reason for doing that! One that I actually can't tell you about at all."

"So you just decided that you would spill water and a gun just magically popped up."

"I didn't decide! The wax lion did!"

Eric looked at her. "The what?"

"Look out!"

Eric saw another car stopped in front of them and put on his brake. He missed the other car's bumper by about two inches. "The wax lion told you to."

"There's a lot we have to discuss, Eric, but not until we get to Mexico. Now please, please drive!" Jaye put her head in her hands. "If I get caught, Sharon will never let me hear the end of this."

5. As the nice men in their clean white coats dragged Jaye off to the mental institution, Eric and Mahondra looked on in horror. Jaye's manager shook his head. "I knew this would happen. She wasn't stable. And now I don't have anybody to cover her shift today."

Mahondra rubbed her temples. "Who called the crazy police?"

Eric shrugged. "I have no idea."

"Don't let her rot there."

"I won't," Eric said

Mahondra looked at him. "You won't what?"

"Let her rot there..."

"You're a sweetheart, but I'm not sure there's anything we can do at this point."

"Don't let her rot there."

"I said..." he turned to the manager, but he'd already scuttled off to help a customer.

"Hey. Down here."

Eric looked down at the counter at a wax lion with a smooshed face. "Down where?"

The lion opened its mouth and spoke. "Don't let her rot there."

Eric passed out.

More to come.