On Notice

The cast, crew, and distributors of the direct-to-video "horror"-"comedy" The Cook are on notice. All of them. Except maybe the guy who played the title character, but mostly because he didn't say much and had a knack for slapstick.

The cinematographer, in particular, should be taxidermied with a light meter jammed in his eye sockets, then placed in a prominent location as a warning to others.

Do not be fooled by the synopsis, which makes the film sound so bad it's good. This one qualifies as masochism.

I will not be reviewing this film for Classic-Horror. It's not worth the effort to write.