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Scary Monsters of My Mind
Jan. 8th, 2006 12:13 amI've been experiencing some pretty freaked out nightmares lately. Pretty bad ones, too. In color, with full detail, and I'm in complete control of myself, but not my enviroment. What's weirdest about these nightmares is that they usually happen within the first half-hour (sometimes the first 20 minutes) of my going to bed, and they're usually frighteningly real.
Tonight was particularly bad. I started off with a dream where I got a headache that could be described as screamingly painful, so much so that I was doubled-over on the floor, wracked with pain. Then, I woke up... but I didn't. My bed, my bedroom... everything was in perfect detail... but I found out when I woke up again after some odd things occured that it had been a dream. What's worse is that the second "wake up" was also into a dream. Finally, I actually did wake up. And then shrugged and went back to sleep.
I had another odd, unnerving dream almost immediately, and then I woke up... but my body kept moving in circles. Another dream. So then I woke up, and this time I was sure I was awake. The clock reflected a reasonable time, my bedroom was exactly as it should have been, down to the traffic noises... except none of my lights worked. I fled into a panic outside, and screamed... and had all my neighbors yell back at me about keeping it down. I realized soon enough that this was another dream... but I couldn't tell, not for certain. The fact that I couldn't wake up was a big point against it being a dream. It wasn't until I actually woke up again that I realized the difference between the two types of "reality."
All of this occured between 11:30 (when I went to bed) and 12:00PM. This is not the first night something like this has happened to me, and I'm really desperately afraid to go back to sleep now, because I don't know what will happen next or how much reality will change on me and I won't be able to tell...
Tonight was particularly bad. I started off with a dream where I got a headache that could be described as screamingly painful, so much so that I was doubled-over on the floor, wracked with pain. Then, I woke up... but I didn't. My bed, my bedroom... everything was in perfect detail... but I found out when I woke up again after some odd things occured that it had been a dream. What's worse is that the second "wake up" was also into a dream. Finally, I actually did wake up. And then shrugged and went back to sleep.
I had another odd, unnerving dream almost immediately, and then I woke up... but my body kept moving in circles. Another dream. So then I woke up, and this time I was sure I was awake. The clock reflected a reasonable time, my bedroom was exactly as it should have been, down to the traffic noises... except none of my lights worked. I fled into a panic outside, and screamed... and had all my neighbors yell back at me about keeping it down. I realized soon enough that this was another dream... but I couldn't tell, not for certain. The fact that I couldn't wake up was a big point against it being a dream. It wasn't until I actually woke up again that I realized the difference between the two types of "reality."
All of this occured between 11:30 (when I went to bed) and 12:00PM. This is not the first night something like this has happened to me, and I'm really desperately afraid to go back to sleep now, because I don't know what will happen next or how much reality will change on me and I won't be able to tell...
