OKAY, FIRST OF ALL. REGINA. SHE IS FUCKING AMAZING. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING AWESOME SHE IS? WELL MAYBE SHE ISN'T. I MEAN, SHE IS, SHE'S GOT ALL THIS MAGIC AND SHIT, SHE IS THE EVIL FUCKING QUEEN. BUT SHE'S GOT PAIN. REAL PAIN LIKE I CAN'T REVEAL BECAUSE IT'S A LATE S1 SPOILER, BUT THE BEST PART IS FROM 1X01-1X02: THIS ONE TIME HER ALL-CONSUMING PAIN/HATRED OF SNOW WHITE LED HER TO MURDER HER FATHER, THE ONE PERSON IN ALL THE WORLD SHE LOVED MOST, SO THAT SHE COULD CURSE SNOW. AND AS A RESULT, THERE IS A HOLE IN HER THAT MIGHT NEVER BE FILLED. BUT THERE IS ONE LOOPHOLE IN HER CURSE THAT SHE COULDN'T FILL, AND THAT IS THAT SNOW'S DAUGHTER COULD ESCAPE AND END THE CURSE. AND SNOW'S BABY DAUGHTER DOES ESCAPE.
18 YEARS INTO THE CURSE, A STILL-EMPTY-HEARTED REGINA DECIDES TO ADOPT A SON TO FILL THAT HOLE (SHE NAMES HIM AFTER HER DAD AWWWW). BUT SHE CAN'T BRING HERSELF TO LOVE EVEN HER SON, BECAUSE SHE'S EMPTY INSIDE. IS YOUR HEART NOT BREAKING YET? AND WHAT'S WORSES, THE BOY'S BIRTH MOTHER COMES TO TOWN TO STEAL HER SON. BECAUSE HE SON WENT AND GOT HER AND ASKED HER TO, BECAUSE HE THINKS REGINA IS EVIL. HOW ABOUT NOW, BREAKING YET? WORST OF ALL, THIS WOMAN, *HER OWN SON'S MOTHER* IS THE ONE WHO WILL END THE CURSE! HER ARCHENEMY'S GRANDSON IS THE ONE SHE WANTS TO LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING.
EMMA. SHE IS BAD-ASS DR. CAMERON OR WHATEVER, BUT SHE CATCHES BAD GUYS, BAIL JUMPERS. SHE IS LONELY THOUGH, BECAUSE SHE IS AN ORPHAN WHO GREW UP IN THE SYSTEM, NEVER GOT ADOPTED BY PEOPLE WHO LOVE HER. BUT SHE HAD A KID WHEN SHE WAS EIGHTEEN AND IN AS-OF-YET UNDISCLOSED TROUBLE, SO SHE GAVE THE BABY UP FOR ADOPTION. TEN YEARS LATER WHEN SHE IS CELEBRATING HER BIRTHDAY ALL ALONE AFTER BEING ALL BADASS CATCHING BAD GUYS *ON HER BIRTHDAY* WHO SHOWS UP BUT THIS LITTLE BOY WHO SAYS HE'S HER SON AND THREATENS TO TELL PEOPLE SHE ABDUCTED HIM IF SHE DOESN'T COME HOME WITH HIM. THE LITTLE SNOT. BUT THAT KIND OF BLACKMAIL IS POWERFUL, AND SHE HEADS HOME WITH HIM AND OH SHIT SHE JUST LANDED IN A STORYBOOK AND HER SON IS BEING RAISED BY AN EVIL WITCH -- EITHER THAT OR THERE'S A LITTLE CRAZY BOY WHOSE MOTHER SHE KNOWS DOESN'T LOVE HIM. AND SHE BECOMES FUCKING SHERIFF AND THERE IS CHAINSAW ACTION IT IS AWESOME I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING ALTHOUGH THERE SHOULD BE A WARNING FOR "HARM TO TREES" BECAUSE I FIND THAT SHIT GENIUINELY UPSETTING. ALSO, THERE MIGHT BE SUBTEXT WITH SAID EVIL WITCH, WHO IS ACTUALLY JUST AN EVIL MAYOR, EXCEPT EMMA CAN'T PROVE SHE'S EVIL AND SHE SEEMS TO WANT TO BE A GOOD MOTHER.
SHE HAD A SAD CUPCAKE. ALL ALONE IN A NOT-VERY-LIVED-IN LOOKING APARTMENT IN BOSTON, WITH A SINGLE CUPCAKE WITH A SINGLE CANDLE AND SHE WISHED TO NOT BE ALONE ON HER BIRTHDAY AND BLEW IT OUT AND THEN HENRY SHOWED UP
THIS!!! SHE IS SO AWESOME WITH THE SWORDS AND FIGHTING AND NOT TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS AND SHE WAS LEFT ALLLLLLL ALONE AS A KID WITH PARENTS WHO ABANDONED HER AND ITS SO HARD TO SEE THEM AGAIN THAT WAY EVEN AFTER SHE KNOWS WHY IT HAPPENED. ITS SAAAAAAAAAD.
GENDER. OH MY GOD. THS SHOW PASSES THE BECHDEL TEST IN PRACTICATLY *EVERY SCENE*. THE SHOW IS ABOUT WOMEN, COMPLICATED WOMEN, AND THEIR RELATIONSHIPS, AND ALSO THERE ARE DUDES BUT THE CENTRAL THREE FIGURES ON THE SEASON ONE DVD ARE WOMEN ALSO WITH SOME DUDES TO THE SIDE.
FRIDGING. DO YOU KNOW WHO THEY FRIDGE? THEY FRIDGE DUDES IN THE SERVICE OF THE EMOTIONAL/NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT OF WOMEN, IT IS AMAZING.
SO AWESOME!!! I AM ALL LIKE, GO AWAY BOYS THIS IS NOT YOUR SHOW. UNLESS YOU ARE RUMPLE MAYBE SOMETIMES. THE FRIDGING IN 107 WAS AMAAAAAZING AND I WAS SO SURPRISED AND NEVER EXPECTED IT AND IT WAS GREAT.
JANE ESPENSON. YOU PROBABLY LOVE JANE ESPENSON AS A RIGHT THINKING HUMAN, AND SHE IS ONE OF THE WRITERS, AND HER EPISODES ARE THE FUCKING BEST. I DIDN'T NOTICE AT FIRST BUT WHEN I CHECKED ALL THE BEST ONES WERE WRITTEN BY HER, AND THEN LATER IN THE SEASON I WAS SOOOO EXCITED FOR HER EPISODES.
THEY ARE ALL PRETTY GOOD, IN ALL THE EPISODES THERE'S ONLY ONE I DON'T LIKE AND THAT'S REALLY SAYING A LOT WITH TWENTY-ODD EPISODES.
THERE IS A WORLD WHERE MAGIC IS REAL AND FULL OF STORYBOOK CHARACTERS WHOSE TALES ARE ALL INTERTWINED IN WAYS YOU WOULD NOT HAVE GUESSED. THERE IS *INTRIGUE* AND CONSTANT DEAL MAKING AND VILLAINS WHO JUST NEED A HUG AND PROBABLY A STABBING. DID I MENTION RUMPLESTILTSKIN? HE HAS THIS BAD-ASS SENSE OF FASHION THAT INVOLVES VESTS AND SHIT AND ALSO HE IS A CONNIVING MAGNIFICENT BASTARD WITH [SPOILERS SPOILERS WOOBIE SPOILERS] AND HE HAS A SCOTTISH ACCENT, SO I'M TALKING SEX APPEAL LIKE DAVID FUCKING TENNANT ONLY HE HAS LIZARD SKIN DID I MENTION?
AND NOBODY SAYS "HAPPILY EVER AFTER", BECAUSE THIS SHOW IS INTERESTED IN WHAT HAPPENS NEXT AND THINKS IT IS EQUALLY VALUABLE DRAMATIC MATERIAL. IT CARES ABOUT MOMMY ISSUES EVEN MORE THAN MOST SHOWS CARE ABOUT DADDY ISSUES, BUT MOSTLY IT CARES ABOUT PARENTS AND CHILDREN, ADOPTIVE AND OTHERWISE, AND A LOT OF THE TIMES FROM THE POINT OF THE PARENT. HOLY SHIT.
EMMA FIGHTS A DRAGON. SNOW WHITE AND PRINCE CHARMING ARE IN LOVE AND CONSTANTLY SWORDFIGHTING THEIR WAY TO SAVING EACH OTHER. NOT JUST HIM SAVING HER. NOT JUST HER SAVING HIM. AND THE OTHER PERSON PRINCE CHARMING WAS ENGAGED TO MARRY? SHE IS A BADASS WITH A GREAT RIDING OUTFIT AND THE SHOW DOES NOT DISAPPROVE OF HER FOR NOT BEING CHARMING'S TRUE LOVE. AND RED RIDING HOOD? FUCKING AWESOME IN A WAY THAT IT IS SPOILERY TO MENTION, BUT SHE IS GREAT AND HAS RED DYE IN HER HAIR WHICH I LIKE.
OH GOD RUMPLES. I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS CAUSE WE GET TO SEE RESERVED MISTER GOLD WHO IS PLOTTING, PLOTTING, PLOTTING, ALWAYS PLAYING A LONGER GAME THAN ANYONE REALIZES, THEN AS RUMPLES HE IS HAVING A FUCKING SEVEN COURSE MEAL OUT OF THE SCENERY AND GIVES NO FUCKS WHILE HE GIGGLES HYSTERICALLY BUT ALSO WITH THE ALWAYS PLOTTING AND THE LONGEST OF ALL POSSIBLE GAMES, I THINK, I DON'T KNOW! STILL SO MUCH I DON'T KNOW!THE SHOW SATISFIES ME AND LEAVES ME WANTING MORE
(JUST LIKE YOUR MOM. ALSO THIS SHOW IS FUUUULLL OF MILFS)
I love that this show can take the stories we've known forever in so many different versions and just put a whole new twist on them, in the way that can only be done in serial fiction. Like who knew I'd be shipping [SPOILER]/[SPOILER]? The show ties all these characters from different stories and different worlds together beautifully.
OMG OMFG DO YOU KNOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW (YOU DO BUT LET'S JUST PLAY THIS OUT FOR A MOMENT)
VESTS AND SHIT AND THEN SMASHING THE FUCK OUT OF GLASS CABINETS IS THE NEW CRYING ON A BEACH.
BEAUTY AND BEAST MOTIFS WHERE THE BEAST IS ACTUALLY A FUCKIN BEAST AND NOT JUST A MOPEY DUDE WITH A BAD FACE TATTOO AND YOU SAY "HOLY SHIT, CHICK, YOU ARE INTO THAT? YOU ARE A LONGTERM INVESTMENT GOOD HEARTED CHICK, CHICK!"
AND THEN YOU SAY "OH WHO AM I EVEN KIDDING I AM INTO THAT AND SO IS HALF OF TUMBLR FINALLY MY SHIPPER HEART IF SET FREE"
GODDAMN
ALSO SECONDING RED. RED. FUCK MY CAPS ARE NOT CAPPED ENOUGH TO EMPHASIZE THIS PROPERLY HOLY SHIT SHE'S GREAT.
ALSO ABC IS OWNED BY DISNEY OR SOMETHING SO THEY GET TO STEAL FROM DISNEY VERSIONS ALL THEY WANT WITHOUT ACTUALLY BEING BOUND TO BEING FAITHFUL, SO BELLE WEARS THOSE GORGEOUS DRESSES FROM BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, WHILE IN THE SAME EPISODE REGINA IS ALL "NOT THAT I'M SUGGESTING A YOUNG GIRL KISS A MAN WHO HOLDS HER CAPTIVE, WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE IS THAT?" THEY SNARK AT FAIRYTALE TROPES! THEY ARE META! THEY HAVE FUN WITH WHAT THEY ARE DOING! I LOVE CREATORS WHO ARE HAVING FUN!
ALSO ALSO REDEMPTION. THE SHOW IS CLEARLY GOING FOR A SERIES-LONG THEME OF REDEMPTION, AND THAT IS ONE OF MY BULLET PROOF NARRATIVE KINKS I GUESS. "THERE CAN ALWAYS BE NEW BEGINNINGS, EVEN FOR PEOPLE LIKE US." I ALWAYS WANT PEOPLE TO REDEEM THEMSELVES AND MAKE AMENDS AND FORGIVE, I THINK FORGIVENESS IS REALLY GOOD THING TO DO INSTEAD OF HATING, AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT PLAY OUT. ALSO I THINK IT DOES A BETTER JOB THAN THE SHOW ACTUALLY CALLED "REVENGE" OR ILLUSTRATING "WHEN YOU SET OUT ON A PATH OF REVENGE, DIG TWO GRAVES" EVEN THOUGH THAT IS THE OPENING QUOTE OF THE SHOW CALLED REVENGE.
IT'S JUST SO GOOOOOOOD! IT MAKES ME CRY WITH BOTH HAPPINESS AND SADNESS!
YES, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT SETS UP ITS WOOBIES TO BE REDEEMED NOT BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T BEEN MONSTERS BUT BECAUSE THERE'S ALWAYS A CHANCE FOR THE STORY TO GO DIFFERENTLY. WHAT WITH ALL THE WOMEN AND THE REDEMPTION THIS SHOW PARTIALLY FILLS THE XENA-SHAPED HOLE IN MY HEART BECAUSE NO SHOW AS GOOD AS THAT SAID IF YOU DID SOMETHING BAD DON'T WALLOW MAKE AMENDS AND MAYBE ULTIMATELY FORGIVE YOURSELF.
ANGEL THE SERIES MADE ME SO FUCKING ANGRY, BECAUSE IT ILLUSTRATED HOW MANPAIN IS NOT THE ROAD TO REDEMPTION, AND YET IT STILL THOUGHT IT WAS SO COOL AND DEEP BUT XENA DID IT FIRST AND DID IT BETTER.
HI I'M LATE TO THIS BECAUSE MY EPISODE REACTION WAS TAKING TOO LONG AND THEN I DELETED IT OH WELL.
THIS SHOW THIS FUCKING SHOW THIS SHOW HAD A GROWN WOMAN TELL HER SECRET GROWN MOTHER THAT ONE-NIGHT STANDS ARE TOTALLY FINE AND TO GO FOR IT AND THIS HAPPENED IN PRIME TIME ON A SHOW THAT IS LICENSING DISNEY CHARACTERS THEN I DIED BUT THEN I LIVED BUT THEN THE FRIDGED A DUDE TO FUEL WOMANPAIN AND I THEN I DIED AGAIN AND BUT I LIVED AGAIN CAUSE RUMPELSTILTSKIN IS HELL OF SCOTTISH AND IT MADE ME FINALLY GO AND WATCH ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MIDLANDS AND THAT WAS GREAT BECAUSE SHANE MEADOWS DOESN'T DO COMEDIES OFTEN ENOUGH.
I AM SO HAPPY YOU SURVIVED A SHOW THAT IS REPEATEDLY FATAL TO YOU, BUT I AM SAD YOU DELETED YOUR EPISODE REACTION. WHAT DID IT SAY -- CAN YOU PARAPHRASE?
*laughing* I am not at the CAPSLOCL FLAILING stage with this show, but do agree with much of the above! The women rule everything, the twists on the tropes are awesome, and it really is a damn pretty show.
YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME?
18 YEARS INTO THE CURSE, A STILL-EMPTY-HEARTED REGINA DECIDES TO ADOPT A SON TO FILL THAT HOLE (SHE NAMES HIM AFTER HER DAD AWWWW). BUT SHE CAN'T BRING HERSELF TO LOVE EVEN HER SON, BECAUSE SHE'S EMPTY INSIDE. IS YOUR HEART NOT BREAKING YET? AND WHAT'S WORSES, THE BOY'S BIRTH MOTHER COMES TO TOWN TO STEAL HER SON. BECAUSE HE SON WENT AND GOT HER AND ASKED HER TO, BECAUSE HE THINKS REGINA IS EVIL. HOW ABOUT NOW, BREAKING YET? WORST OF ALL, THIS WOMAN, *HER OWN SON'S MOTHER* IS THE ONE WHO WILL END THE CURSE! HER ARCHENEMY'S GRANDSON IS THE ONE SHE WANTS TO LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING.
Re: YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME?
Re: YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME?
Re: YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME?
AND FOR ANOTHER THING
Re: AND FOR ANOTHER THING
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Re: AND FOR ANOTHER THING
Re: AND FOR ANOTHER THING
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Re: AND FOR ANOTHER THING
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FRIDGING. DO YOU KNOW WHO THEY FRIDGE? THEY FRIDGE DUDES IN THE SERVICE OF THE EMOTIONAL/NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT OF WOMEN, IT IS AMAZING.
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THEY ARE ALL PRETTY GOOD, IN ALL THE EPISODES THERE'S ONLY ONE I DON'T LIKE AND THAT'S REALLY SAYING A LOT WITH TWENTY-ODD EPISODES.
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WHAT EPISODE DIDN'T YOU LIKE?
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IN ADDITION TO THE AFOREMENTIONED DELIGHTS
AND NOBODY SAYS "HAPPILY EVER AFTER", BECAUSE THIS SHOW IS INTERESTED IN WHAT HAPPENS NEXT AND THINKS IT IS EQUALLY VALUABLE DRAMATIC MATERIAL. IT CARES ABOUT MOMMY ISSUES EVEN MORE THAN MOST SHOWS CARE ABOUT DADDY ISSUES, BUT MOSTLY IT CARES ABOUT PARENTS AND CHILDREN, ADOPTIVE AND OTHERWISE, AND A LOT OF THE TIMES FROM THE POINT OF THE PARENT. HOLY SHIT.
EMMA FIGHTS A DRAGON. SNOW WHITE AND PRINCE CHARMING ARE IN LOVE AND CONSTANTLY SWORDFIGHTING THEIR WAY TO SAVING EACH OTHER. NOT JUST HIM SAVING HER. NOT JUST HER SAVING HIM. AND THE OTHER PERSON PRINCE CHARMING WAS ENGAGED TO MARRY? SHE IS A BADASS WITH A GREAT RIDING OUTFIT AND THE SHOW DOES NOT DISAPPROVE OF HER FOR NOT BEING CHARMING'S TRUE LOVE. AND RED RIDING HOOD? FUCKING AWESOME IN A WAY THAT IT IS SPOILERY TO MENTION, BUT SHE IS GREAT AND HAS RED DYE IN HER HAIR WHICH I LIKE.
Re: IN ADDITION TO THE AFOREMENTIONED DELIGHTS
(JUST LIKE YOUR MOM. ALSO THIS SHOW IS FUUUULLL OF MILFS)
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VESTS AND SHIT AND THEN SMASHING THE FUCK OUT OF GLASS CABINETS IS THE NEW CRYING ON A BEACH.
BEAUTY AND BEAST MOTIFS WHERE THE BEAST IS ACTUALLY A FUCKIN BEAST AND NOT JUST A MOPEY DUDE WITH A BAD FACE TATTOO AND YOU SAY "HOLY SHIT, CHICK, YOU ARE INTO THAT? YOU ARE A LONGTERM INVESTMENT GOOD HEARTED CHICK, CHICK!"
AND THEN YOU SAY "OH WHO AM I EVEN KIDDING I AM INTO THAT AND SO IS HALF OF TUMBLR FINALLY MY SHIPPER HEART IF SET FREE"
GODDAMN
ALSO SECONDING RED. RED. FUCK MY CAPS ARE NOT CAPPED ENOUGH TO EMPHASIZE THIS PROPERLY HOLY SHIT SHE'S GREAT.
Re: IN ADDITION TO THE AFOREMENTIONED DELIGHTS
Re: IN ADDITION TO THE AFOREMENTIONED DELIGHTS
Re: IN ADDITION TO THE AFOREMENTIONED DELIGHTS
Re: IN ADDITION TO THE AFOREMENTIONED DELIGHTS
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I HAVE CONSIDERED WRITING IT DOWN ON A PIECE OF PAPER AND TAPING TO MY SO, BUT I DON'T WISH TO MISLEAD HIM ABOUT MY MOTIVES.
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IT'S JUST SO GOOOOOOOD! IT MAKES ME CRY WITH BOTH HAPPINESS AND SADNESS!
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ANGEL THE SERIES MADE ME SO FUCKING ANGRY, BECAUSE IT ILLUSTRATED HOW MANPAIN IS NOT THE ROAD TO REDEMPTION, AND YET IT STILL THOUGHT IT WAS SO COOL AND DEEP BUT XENA DID IT FIRST AND DID IT BETTER.
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THIS SHOW THIS FUCKING SHOW THIS SHOW HAD A GROWN WOMAN TELL HER SECRET GROWN MOTHER THAT ONE-NIGHT STANDS ARE TOTALLY FINE AND TO GO FOR IT AND THIS HAPPENED IN PRIME TIME ON A SHOW THAT IS LICENSING DISNEY CHARACTERS THEN I DIED BUT THEN I LIVED BUT THEN THE FRIDGED A DUDE TO FUEL WOMANPAIN AND I THEN I DIED AGAIN AND BUT I LIVED AGAIN CAUSE RUMPELSTILTSKIN IS HELL OF SCOTTISH AND IT MADE ME FINALLY GO AND WATCH ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MIDLANDS AND THAT WAS GREAT BECAUSE SHANE MEADOWS DOESN'T DO COMEDIES OFTEN ENOUGH.
NOW I AM ON A TANGENT.
FUCK.
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Well, you did ask for it... ♥
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JEFFERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SLEEPING DRAGON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Basically ALL THE OUAT FEELS.
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