5 Things Meme: Part the First

[jetpack_monkey]

For invisionary: The Doctor's five absolute favorite places and times to visit:

1. Woodstock. He's been every regeneration since the fourth, always careful not to overlap himself. He keeps a journal of the experience and likes comparing notes with his past selves. His seventh didn't care for it at all, but Ace loved it, apparently. He liked it best this latest go-round, though, and that somehow doesn't surprise him at all.

2. 16th Century England. He's seen all of Shakespeare's plays as originally performed. He still giggles at the suggestion that Hamlet is too long. They should've seen the first performance.

3. Magrathea, pre-Earth. Though, try as he might, he cannot convince ol' Slarti on the fjords thing.

4. London, England, 2005, because it's where he met Rose, and he takes comfort in the fact that some part of her is still there.

5. Gallifrey, because he can never, ever go back.

For timjr:

Five ways Jack Bristow can't kill a man:

1. With kindness.

2. His opponent had mastered every form of hand-to-hand he could think and rendered himself invulnerable to projectiles. There was only one way out of this situation. "You bitch!" he yelled and started slapping his opponent wildly with limp wrists.

3. By sending Vaughn to do the job.

4. Yo' momma jokes.

5. Jack Bristow once tried to kill a man by blowing up his computer remotely, using an e-mail specially encoded to override his motherboard and turn every component into a blast furnace. Unfortunately, the man had an AOL account and the mail was caught in the spam filter. It did, however, take down an entire server farm in Virginia.

Five times Spike wondered why the hell he let Clem hang out at his crypt:

1. "Clem, what the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"Hey, buddy. I'm just coming to pick up my weekly Friends tape."

"You're what?"

"Your VCR. I programmed it to tape Friends every week. I thought I told you."

Spike's head tilted. "Did you use my tapes?"

"Well, they weren't labeled."

"You ignorant ponce! You're a dead one, mate. That was Passions. There's no returnin' after this."

2. "Why are there Bugles crumbs all over my bloody chair?"

3. One word: sloughing.

4. "I thought we had an understanding, Clem. You can hang out... when I am here, and you cannot cook those kittens here. What if Buf-- What if someone were to come over?"

"I'm not making enough for everyone?"

5. "Dude, Passions sucks anyway."

"OUT! OUT of my crypt!"

Five things Rose Tyler hated about the TARDIS:

1. When she first got there, she could swear it kept moving her room to a different corridor every time she went looking for it.

2. The lift was constantly out.

3. Didn't matter how many times The Doctor said it was a living thing, it smelled like rust.

4. Green was not a flattering color for her.

5. She hated that it was always there for her, with her Doctor, until it was never there again.